a moment to manifest: all things messy, and beautiful

I’ve been M.I.A. Honestly, life got hard and until recently I had no clue how or why things seemed to be unraveling. Although I had clear sight of where I wanted to end up and who I wanted to be when I arrived at my next destination on this life journey, I felt lost.

Self care practices like massages, time with my girls, and retail therapy kept me afloat. Although it allowed me to pause and care for myself, I quickly realized a homemade spa day wasn’t going to be enough to get me on my feet.

The more I reflect on the past year and the absences I've slipped into, the decisions I've made, and the shifts that have transformed me, the more I realize I’ve experienced this kind of low before. The question became how could I be sure to thrive as I navigate the ebbs and flows of life?

Following my mom's death in 2011, I made some of my most fearless decisions yet. To name a few: I traveled around the world living life as a carefree black girl. I moved away from home with few worries and even fewer coins. I earned an advanced degree at a private PWI while building my doula organization. 

This chapter felt different. Pieces of me began coming together in an all too unfamiliar and exhilarating way. I had to stop. I had to become truly unafraid. I needed a moment to be deeply vulnerable, unapologetic, and to make my healing a priority. Ultimately, I had to learn to love the newest version of myself, again.

I had some days that challenged me in every way. I’m talking about no motivation, feeling overwhelmed, and trying to find direction again. Then, thankfully, I had a breakthrough moment. I realized I had to choose myself AND fall deeply in love with the process. As messy as it was, it became my most beautiful manifestation.

My Self Love Toolkit:  

• Prioritizing my well-being...Foreal! Self care practices are like extra credit, but an assignment rooted in self love requires you to return to the basics. Are you receiving restorative sleep/rest, quality nourishment, plenty of exercise, and soulful exchanges with the people and things in your life?   

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• Saying yes to myself - My wants, needs, and desires come first. Period!

• Understanding when my limited capacity meant I needed to say no. Would saying yes require more than you have to give? Would saying yes place a speed bump in your path? Well, say no and have no shame!  

• Engaging in deep personal reflection. It’s okay to celebrate your accomplishments and also acknowledge the areas where you need to grow.

• Believing in my dream and knowing that all things necessary to support my well-being were possible within that dream. Dreams do not have to involve self-sacrifice. You can be well and ambitious.

• Stepping into my personal prowess. It looks good on you, own it!

• Letting go of things and people no longer aligned within my path. Do so with grace, love, and understanding.

• Resisting the pressure society places on us to do, be, think, and act a certain way. Repeat after me: I am who I am. My life is all mine. I own it and stand proudly in all of my truth.

As we journey toward self love, my hope for all of us is to experience more tender love, more abundant sleep, more around the world travel, more child-like play, more guilt-free rest, more seamless connections, more unapologetic joy, more breathtaking orgasms, more gut-aching laughter, and more transformative life lessons.

Next up: We're launching our Through Their Eyes: Doulas from around the world series. Stay tuned!

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